Sex In Quarantine: Hunting More Than Bondage?

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Sex In Quarantine: Hunting More Than Bondage?
Sex In Quarantine: Hunting More Than Bondage?

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Sex in quarantine: hunting more than bondage?

What happens to sex in the age of self-isolation? We decided to consider the conflicting facts and figure out whether it is worth waiting for the next baby boom and how saturated the sex life of people languishing in apartments is now.

Sex in quarantine: hunting more than bondage?
Sex in quarantine: hunting more than bondage?

Photo: Verywell / Hugo Lin

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It would seem that quarantine is the right time to give free rein to libido: there are no daily exhausting trips to the office and to meetings, there is as much time at home as you like, and the amount of entertainment within four walls, on the contrary, is limited.

This is partly true. With the introduction of the self-isolation regime, condom sales across the country have risen sharply: according to RBC, they grew by 30% compared to the same period last year. According to Denis Zheleznyak, owner of one of the largest sex shops in Russia Intimshop, sales in all product categories have grown almost evenly. People were clearly serious.

On the other hand, there are also arguments for the fact that the sexual life of the self-isolated is more likely to be threatened.

First, stress negatively affects libido: in an environment where uncertainty is high and there are many disturbing factors, people are less likely to want sex.

Secondly, spouses with children and relatives living with them under the same roof find themselves isolated in a rather large company of curious people. Securing intimacy under these conditions can be challenging. Moreover, children deprived of their usual activities require attention and strength.

Third, isolation can affect the relationship between spouses. The rise in domestic violence has reached such proportions that UN Secretary-General António Guterres commented on it in a video message on Twitter: “Over the past few weeks, as economic and social pressures increase, we have seen a frightening surge in domestic violence worldwide.”

Is it possible, in principle, to want sex in such difficult conditions? And if so, how does sexual behavior change?

“It seems that most people have less sex,” says sexologist Amina Nazaralieva. - Fatigue from the constant presence of children, anxiety, remote work and housework make themselves felt. On the other hand, people living in quarantine alone build up a wild hunger not even for sex, but simply for contact and touch. Many people solve the problem with sex toys, watching porn, online sex. The number of webcam service users has grown significantly. In addition, there are more risky sexual behaviors: for example, people get closer to strangers faster, they are ready for more daring experiments. Many people complain that they are tired of masturbating, but nevertheless, I must add that the safest partner during an epidemic is yourself."

Theory and history

Unfortunately, we cannot turn to history and see how human sexual behavior has changed during previous pandemics. During the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic around the world, fertility declined markedly. But then the virus itself was the cause of the high percentage of miscarriages, in addition, this speaks about sexual behavior only indirectly.

Chinese scientists studied the effect of the 2008 Wenchuan earthquake on the sexual activity of married women and found that it decreased significantly, and not only in the week following the earthquake.

Before the disaster, 67% of married women had sex two or more times a week. A week after it, the number of women with such an active sexual life dropped to 4%. A month later, the figure rose to only 24%.

Of course, a pandemic is different from an earthquake. Nevertheless, traumatic events reduce sexual activity, and for people who have lost their jobs, are forced to change their place of residence, worry about loved ones, the pandemic could be just as traumatic.

It must be said that trauma not only reduces sexual activity, it also changes sexual behavior. People who have experienced difficult, difficult events are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex or sex under the influence of alcohol and drugs. This can also include the readiness to quickly converge with strangers, which Amina Nazaralieva spoke about in her commentary.

Separately, it should be said about the study of Italian scientists, published in the Psychiatric Times. They write that anxiety plays a significant role in the development of sexual disorders, such as libido, arousal or anorgasmia. In a word, anxiously reading about how the number of people infected per day has grown, it is difficult to quickly switch and have a great time having hot sex.

conclusions

What to do with all this?

First of all, exhale. If you don't want sex now, there is nothing terrible or even special about it. When the hard times are over, libido will return to its place.

  • Assess risks. Listen to your feelings - are you really ready to go home to a stranger or a stranger after a couple of messages online? How characteristic is it for you? How would you assess the situation before quarantine?
  • Ask your partner or partner about mutual consent more often than usual. Even if you have known each other for several years, people under stress may inadequately assess their desires and capabilities.
  • Remember that at any time, if something goes wrong in your way, you can stop. And this is completely normal.
  • Protect yourself. Disinfect toys. And remember that the safest partner at this time is yourself.
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